Book Review: The Cat Who...

I finished the Cat Who Could Turn On and Off. It was the third book written by Lilian Jackson Braun. Her early books are fantastic. They were written in the mid-sixties and have a real intelligence behind them. Her main character, Jim Qwilleran, is a crime reporter that has been demoted to the home interior beat of a local newspaper. He has two adopted cats Koko and Yum Yum.

In the last book, Qwilleran moves into a dilapidated neighborhood known as Junktown. He takes a second story apartment over an antique store. When the proprietor meets an unusual death, he begins to suspect murder.

It is one of her best novels. I give it five out of five fluffy stars.

*Keep ion mind that this series is a teacup novel. A fluff mystery.

Two Scoop Rule

Well, tonight we baked our pie. While it cooked, we sat out on the backporch with the kids and talked about silly stuff like...how much the kids owe for their insurance, how I wake up yelling when I dream, and how Andrew once thought he saw baby possums in the fireplace (turns out he was hallucinating on benadryl...long story).

Anyway, once the pie was done, I called everyone into the house. Of course, the boys came running in like a pack of starving vultures and encircled the kitchen island like it was a piece of dead meat. I dished out the pie and they began to take turns scooping their ice cream.

Meanwhile, Vaughn has been "jonesing" for pie all day. He is at the back of the line and becoming impatient. So, he yells, "Okay, you guys hurry up!" Although I'm sure it made him feel better, the yelling didn't move the line along any faster. So, he finally shouts, "Okay, you're taking too long. From now on, you get two scoops then you move away from the bucket!"

Apparently we have a new "two scoop" rule at our house (just in case any of you come over for pie and ice cream). It's not that you can't have more than two scoops; you just can't have more than two scoops AT A TIME!

Cherry Pie

Last night, we were watching this old TV show called Twin Peaks. The main character of the show is obssessed with coffee and pie. Well, about halfway through the episode, the woman at the cafe gave the guy some cherry pie. Vaughn and I looked at each other and said almost simultaneously, "Wouldn't it be great if we had some pie?"

We paused the TV and went to the freezer. I was pretty sure that we had leftover pie crust from Christmas. Alas, it's was gone! But, I founnd a package of frozen peaches. Peach pie sounds good. But, I'm in no mood to actually MAKE pie crust. So, we go back to the TV.

A little later, the boys came home and we have another idea. Send them to Walmart for pie! Well, David and Ryan get into the car armed with our debit card and instructions to buy a cherry pie. Thirty minutes later, they both come home with a cherry pie. Sara Lee. FROZEN!!

Oh, well. We were too tired to bake a frozen pie so we went to bed.

But, TONIGHT THE PIE IS ON!

Why I never had a date until I was 16 1.2- Part Two

When I was fifteen, I had a HUGE crush on a boy named Kalani Wheeler. He was a very cute Hawaiian boy. One day, I put on my cutest pink gingham shorts and a tank top and went to the park. I was hoping that Kalani would notice how cute I was.

Anyway, when I got there Kalani was playing soccer with a little boy from the neighborhood. Unfortunately, my achilles heel was sports. I was a tomboy who loved to play to win. So, Kalani asked me if I wanted to play with them.

Me, being the total dork that I was, said YES!

While the game got rowdier and rowdier, my short got stinkier and sweatier. Very attractive!

Suddenly, the little boy tried to do a quick turn but didn't realize I had run up behind him. He slammed into me and fell in a heap on the ground.

Kalani ran over to him and pulled him up. He said, "WHOAH! That was kinda like hitting a brick wall!"

I was moritified. I just turned the shade of my sweaty shorts and left the field. I never did have a date with Kalani, but it's okay. He turned out to be tall and gangly anyway.

Ryan's Birthday

Happy Birthday to my son, Ryan. He turned twenty-one today. He was a big baby, 9 lbs. 14 oz.! We're very proud of him and his many achievements.

I've Let Go

This is one of Andrew's first poems. He wrote it in the summer of his Junior year in High School.

"I’ve let go and given in so easily.
I heard your warning fall softly on my ears.
I cant say that I put up much of a fight for you.
I’ve fallen farther away these past few years.

I have no bravery, I have no faith.
I’m a long, long, way from moving mountains.
Have mercy on a fool today, that’s all I pray.
This dried out mouth longs for a fountain.

I’ve stumbled and fallen underneath your sun.
I’ve stumbled and fallen in your light.
I’ve tried to make up for all the things I’ve done.
But only nails and thorns can make it right."

Why I never had a date until I was 16 1/2- Part One

Reason #1

When I was in the fifth grade, we moved to this neighborhood where I met my "dream boy". His name was Glynn Futch. Yeah, I know! Anyway, I had this huge crush on him, but he was always "going steady" with someone more worldy-wise than me. That summer, he had been going steady with a girl named Lisa, who was prone to wearing short-shorts and tube-tops, but they suddenly broke up.

My friend, who lived nearby, knew that I had this crush so she dedcided to tell him. Well, not long after that, he approached me and asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. At first, I felt like my tongue had swolen and I couldn't talk.

Finally, I sputtered, "Yes!"

He looked at me with a big grin. Then he said, "Okay. Now that you're my girlfriend, you have to kiss me."

I hadn't banked on that!

I said, "No, I won't kiss you!"
He said, "Oh yes you will!"
I said, "Over my dead body!"

At that moment, he lunged for me. What he didn't know was that I was as fast as greased lightning. He chased me all over the neighborhood, but was unable to catch me. At last, I made my way home and escaped. He grossed me out, like totally!

Not long after that, I moved to a new neighborhood. The entire summer passed. Then, I saw him one day at school and he said, "Hey Jennifer! Remember me...Glynn Futch! Are we still going steady?"

I just looked at him like he was crazy! Some people just can't deal with "the one that got away".

Reason #2

When I was in the sixth grade, I had this secret crush on a boy named Jamie Spillers. As usual, there seemed to be a trend in the boy's I liked. They always had girlfriends who were a bit more "experienced" in the boy/girl world. He was going steady with a girl named Dina West.

Somehow, this boy in my class named Randy figured out that I liked Jamie. (*Note: Randy's claim to fame was that he could immitate a grunting, gyrating Elvis to a tee.) So, he decided to tell him. Well, I was sitting on a bench at recess, minding my own business, when Jamie walks up. He says, "I heard you like me. I'm really sorry cause your're a really nice girl, but I'm going steady with Dina right now. No hard feelings, right?"

I just stared at him in dumbfounded shock.

I said, "Who told you that I liked you?"
He said, "Randy White."
I said, "He's gonna die!"

All day long, people came up to me and pointed the finger.
"You like Jamie!" they taunted and laughed.

Well, after school, I stopped Randy White on the way to the bus.

I asked him, "Did you tell Jamie Spillers that I like him?"
He replied, "Yes."
I asked him, "Why did you do it?"
He replied, "I don't know."

With that, I proceeded to beat him half to death with my backpack. I beat him until the bus bell rang. I finally let him go and hopped on my bus.

The next day, he informed me through his bruised face that he had missed his bus and everyone was making fun of him because he got beat up by a girl.

He apologized and I forgave him, but my reputation as a loser was pretty much solidified.

Be Reasonable!

Reason is a way of thinking characterized by logic, analysis, and synthesis. It is often contrasted with emotionalism, which is thinking driven by desire, passion, or prejudice. Reason attempts to discover what is truebor what is best. Reason often follows a chain of cause and effect, and the word "reason" can be a synynom for "cause".

An underdeveloped sense of reasoning is unable to disassociate itself from the actions or words of others. This person has remained in the child-like realm of egoism. A child perceives that everything and everyone revolves around them. They suppose that all actions and words are a direct result of their presence.

As reasonable adults, we should be able to disassociate ourselves from the behavior of others. If a person deviates from their normal behavior pattern, an underdeveloped sense of reason will instantly analyze the situation from a personal standpoint. For example, they will say, "This person has never really liked me. I wonder if I've said or done something to offend them. This person has always been out to get me."

On the other hand, a reasonable person meets with a deviated behavior pattern from an impersonal standpoint. They say, "This person has experienced a stressful situation before meeting up with me. This person is having an emotionally challenging day. This person is experiencing difficulty at home or work." They immediately reason that the cause is not personal.

Anger is one of the main oppositions to reasonable thought. Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. Some view anger as part of the "fight or flight" brain response to the perceived threat of pain. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally when a person makes the conscious choice to take action to stop the threatening behavior of another outside force.

An underdeveloped sense of reason will come to the conclusion that a change in behavior is personal. Because of this, their brain immediately expects imminent emotional or physical pain. Then, anger begins to rise as a defensive response to the possibility of pain. Once anger is present, all reasonable thought is gone. The fight or flight response is in total control.

Christians have an advantage on most people. The Spirit of God dwells in our hearts and minds. The Bible says that God is all-knowing. If this is so, then we should be able to rely on his guidance to make reasonable conclusions when dealing with others. His compassion and love should lead us to examine the offensive person in a non-personal way. We should ask ourselves, What is really bothering them? What can I do to help?

Just remember, people have deep, emotional problems that have nothing to do with us. People are basically the sum of their life experiences. One little word or action could trigger a devastating memory or feeling causing them great pain. It is our job to stop and consider them on a deeper level. Their behavior is usually a result of something far deeper than we could ever imagine. And...usually...it has absolutely nothing to do with us.

In the end: I think that we should consider one another through the eyes of God. We should look deeper for the cause and try to ignore the effect. People are precious and need our help and understanding.

Kids at Home

I was going to write a small excerpt on my kids living at home, but I think this sign I found online says it all.

Global Warming

I've given alot of thought about how we could solve the global warming problem.

Here is my idea: For one whole month, we should ban all actors, actresses, singers, talk-show hosts, newscasters, disc-jockeys, politicians and lawyers from speaking. The sudden drop in HOT AIR would cool the global temperature by ten degrees!!

Life with Father

Life with Father by Clarence Day is one of my favorite books. The story was written by the son of a Wall Street financier at the turn of the twentieth century. The young man's father was very strict and a bit pig-headed. It typifies the Victorian mentality to the nines! It was also made into a movie. I'll post more info on the movie later.

For your enjoyment, I have written a few of my favorite lines from the book.

(Because father was so difficult, the maids continually quit. One day he decides to go to the agency and hire a maid of his own choice)
Maid Service Proprietor: Sir, before I can let any girl go from this establishment, I must know the character of the home in which she will be employed.

Father: Madam, “I” am the character of my home.

(The family attended church every Sunday except for father. He was always becoming entangled in frustrating situations with the local reverend.)
Rev. Dr. Lloyd: After considerable thought, we voted that our supporting members should each contribute a sum equal to the cost of their pew.

Father: I paid $5,000 for that pew.

Vinnie (mother): Yes, Clare, that makes our contribution $5,000.

Father: That's robbery. Do you know what that pew is worth today? $3,000. That's what the last one sold for. I've taken a dead loss on that pew of $2,000 already. Frank Bags sold me that pew when the market was at its peak. He knew when to get out. And I'm warning you, Vinnie. If the market ever goes up, I'm going to unload that pew!

Rev. Dr. Lloyd: Mrs. Day, your husband is a practical man. We've had to be practical about the new church. We have all the facts and figures.

Father: Oh? What's the property worth where we are now?

Rev. Dr. Lloyd: Oh, let's see. Is it $40,000? I know the figure has a four in it.

Father: What's the new piece of property going to cost you?

Rev. Dr. Lloyd: I think the figure I heard mentioned was $85,000. Or was it $185,000?

Father: Dr. Lloyd, you preach that someday, we'll all have to answer to God.

Rev. Dr. Lloyd: We shall indeed.

Father: Well, I hope God doesn't ask you any questions with figures in them!

(Clarence griping about Vinnie's cousins dropping in for an extended visit)
Vinnie: But Clare, they're just staying in that little room of Clarence's.

Father: The trouble is, they don't stay there. They stay in the bathroom. Every time I want to take a bath, it's full of giggling females washing their hair!

(Clarence Jr. discussing religious music)
Cousin Mary: That's funny. The words are the same, but it's the wrong tune.

Clarence Jr.: Oh, it can't be the wrong tune. We sing it exactly that way in church.

Cousin Mary: We don't sing it that way in the Methodist Church. You see, we're Methodist.

Clarence Jr.: Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I don't mean it's too bad that you're a Methodist. Anybody's got a right to be anything they want, but what I mean is, we're... “Episcopalians”.

(Complaining about his wife's insistence that he go to church)
Father: I don't go to church to be preached at as though I were some lost sheep.

Vinnie: Clare, you don't seem to understand what the Church is for.

Father: Vinnie, if there's one place the Church should leave alone, it's a man's soul!

(Father gripes about his wife's spending habits)

Vinnie: I do the best I can to keep down expenses. You know yourself Cousin Phoebe spends twice as much as we do.

Father: Don't talk to me about your cousin Phoebe.

Vinnie: You talk about your own relatives enough.

Father: That's not fair, Vinnie. When I talk about my relatives, I criticize them.

(Admonishing Clarence Jr. to work hard to earn a living)
Father: Work never hurt anyone. It's good for them. But if you're going to work, work hard. King Solomon had the right idea about work. "Whatever thy hand findest to do," Solomon said, "do thy doggonedest."

(Mother after receiving a gift after father insulted her)
Vinnie: That's the loveliest ring you ever bought me. Now that I have this, you needn't buy me any more rings.

Father: Well, if you don't want anymore ...

Vinnie: What I'd really like now is a nice diamond necklace.

Party Time

Andrew's birthday is June 16th. Ryan's birthday is June 27th. It only seems logical that we celebrate both birthdays on the same day. So, we did.

We had a little family reunion with a few neighbors as well. Vaughn grilled steak. I burned an entire loaf of french bread until it looked like a scorched log. Dixie did her tricks for everyone that came in. Andrew and Scott entertained us with music. Vaughn told our life story to anyone that hadn't heard it yet (Anyone who has been to our house knows about the picture tour). Lauren and Mary ran around like a couple of teen drama queens. Benjamin looked for two triple-A batteries for most of the day so he could play video games (I don't think he ever found any). David talked to his friend Lauren on the phone all day (He says she's not his girlfriend...I say...Do I really look that stupid?). Ryan walked around mumbling to himself and making cryptic jokes. (Don't worry, it's normal). Lori and I tweaked her blogspot (ask her for the address). John and I acted like immature siblings...making faces until one of us laughed and telling stupid jokes to each other (some of the stuff is so ridiculously "just between us" that no one else knows what we're talking about half the time). Kathy Leppelman came over and had a very interesting discussion with Vaughn, David, and Scott about Jackrabbit Fever (I believe there is some controversy over range-fed vs. farm raised Jackrabbits.)

In the end, we all watched the boys blow out the 42 candles on the cake (Andrew turned 23 and Ryan turned 21). I put 21 candles on one side and 23 on the other. The two boys sat across the table from each other and basically blew smoke into each others faces. It was classic!! Then we ate cake and walked around with blue teeth. We all looked like we'd eaten a batch of Smurfs!

Over all, it was a very good day. My dad said that he had fun. So, that must mean that it was a real BLAST for everyone else! (I love you, Dad!)

I hope that everyone had a great Sunday. Enjojy your family and friends as much as possible. LIfe is too short not to capitalize on every single moment.

Arena Football

Vaughn and I went to the Santa Ana Center last night with some friends to watch the Wildcats play football. It was quite an interesting night.

Arena football is like regulation football in all ways except the field. The field is only 50 yards long. The goal posts hang suspended from the ceiling and if a kick-off or punt hits the ceiling, it is placed where it lands.

We were sitting in the seats behind the goal post. Every time a team tried for an extra point, a crowd of grown men, teeaged boys, and male children would cram into the aisle for a chance to catch the ball. I found out early on in the night that if you catch a ball, you get to keep it. (Much like a baseball game)

In the the third quarter, a crowd of various aged males crammed into the aisle during the extra point. The ball whizzed over our heads and fell not far behind us. Immediately, a small circle of grown men began to fight over the ball...yes...I said FIGHT! They were grabbing and scratching and turning four shades of purpledy-red. One man with a crew-cut and a three foot long braid exploding from the back of his head finally emerged victorious by grasping the ball and leaping like one of Santa's reindeer over the seats (filled with people).

This spectacle was a therapist's cash-cow! One little boy of around seven years old was trampled and had to be taken out by his parent. While the rest of the young children stared in horror, the teenagers had a sudden glint in their eyes. (I believe that the glint was saying, "If these grown-ups can fight, so can we! Yee-Haw!)

This is my theory. There is a group of grown men that have never evolved past High School. This can be attributed to two things. One: they were high-school heroes at one time but sprouted a huge beer-belly and an inferiority complex. Two: they missed out on high-school heroics and are making up for lost time by picking on small kids. It's rather bizarre...and disturbing!

So, here is my hint of the day: No arena football souvenier is worth trampling a small child!

Rockin' News!

Andrew and Scott Leppelman did their audition at Grandma's music today. They loved their performance and will be scheduling a concert for them. I'll keep you all posted about the date and time when I find out. YEAH!!!!!

Artistic Interpretation

I was messing around in an old file and found an entry that was quite humorous. I thought I'd share it with you.

My son Ryan is an artist. Last year, he and his brother took a film class together. The teacher was quite the expressionist. He was very outgoing and flighty. He assigned them a film project: a short 2 minute film clip using abstract objects to emote happiness and sadness.

Ryan filmed his piece and brought it before the class to be reviewed. Once the class had watched it, the professor began to ask Ryan questions about his work.

It went something like this:

Professor: "So, Ryan, what inspired you to make this film?"
Ryan: "I'm not sure."
Professor: "What did the abstract objects in your film represent to you?"
Ryan: "It was mainly the stuff on my desk."
Professor: "Yes, Ryan, I know what it is...but what does it represent?"
Ryan: "I'm not sure."
Professor (becoming frustrated): "Ryan, did you have any inspiration?"
Ryan: "I don't know what you mean."
"Professor (standing in full lecture mode): "Ryan, certain artists will go out into the world and search for inspiration in nature or architecture or human nature. You might find inspiration in a mountain or a tree or a flower or a crying baby. The beauty or ugliness around you stirs your emotions and makes you feel inspired. So what do you have to say?"
Ryan: "Well, I don't do THAT kind of art!"

Welcome!

Welcome to my new personal blog space. I hope not to bore nor shock you. I'll keep you posted about my activities and such...except for what the dog ate and unimportant blogger fodder.