The Gym

I've noticed a few funny things since going to the gym. People don't always follow a correct exercise regimen. The results of their body shape give them away every time.

For example, there are the "Storks". They work out their upper body until they have chests and arms like Arnold Schwartzenneger. But, their hips and legs look like matchsticks. A really heavy breeze comes by and those guys will topple over.

Then, there are the "Beachballs". They come in with muscular arms and legs, but their stomach is as big around as they are tall. I'm not really sure that their crunches are in equal ratio with their beer consumption.

Next, there are the "Matchsticks". They are the naturally skinny guys who come in just to work on their biceps. They have these two little lumps protruding from beneath their extremely pale skin and they do upwards of 1,000 biceps curls to show them off.

Then, there are the "Chameleons". These guys are unassuming and don't really seem to be super fit until they shimmy their shoulders under that enormous barbell with 2,000 pounds on it and squat it five or six times. Sheesh!

Also, there are the "Saddlebags". These guys have worked their legs out so hard and long that they look like they have shoved two pork roasts into the legs of their shorts. Their thighs are so enormous that they sway like 'John Wayne after a cattle drive' when they walk.

Finally, there are the "Neanderthals". These guys are benchpress junkies. They have worked out their chests without paying any attention to their backs. So, their muscles pull their shoulders forwards making them look like the missing link.

Not that I should boast of my figure, which I like to call "Aging Sharpei". But, hey, you notice stuff, right?